Victoria Miretti

Feb 18, 2026

Victoria is wearing the Bess Dress, Penny Top, and Cropped Nicole Pant.

Meet Victoria Miretti, dating & relationship coach, matchmaker, and attachment expert helping women rewrite their love stories with clarity and confidence. After transforming her own dating life through coaching, Victoria made it her mission to help others break old patterns, trust their intuition, and build relationships rooted in security - not just sparks. In a city that moves fast and swipes faster, her approach is a refreshing reminder that sustainable love is built, not chased.

How did you first find your way into dating and relationship coaching?

I was working in consulting and they wanted to make more women partners, so they gave all women directors an executive coach. It was so life changing for me that I thought, “Wow, if it could help me with this, what could it do for my love life?” So I sought out the best dating and relationship experts I could find and it changed my love life too. Once I realized that it didn’t have to be so hard, and no one should have to waste years of their life single in NYC, spinning in the same cycles like I did (because there are reasons it’s happening and ways to solve it), I knew I needed to pay it forward.

Matchmaking came some years later and it’s been so fun bringing people together.

You work closely with women at different stages of their dating journeys — what’s one piece of advice that applies universally?

I think one dating trap people find themselves in is wanting immediate chemistry. An instant spark isn’t realistic if you’re looking for a safe, secure, and reliable partner. Lightning bolt chemistry is usually indicative of complimentary functioning (meaning they remind you of a dynamic of your past — or maybe they’re an extreme version of your opposite attachment style — which isn’t always a good thing). When we’re used to attachment bonds, unavailable partners, or chaotic relationships with high highs and low lows, a fully secure and emotionally available partner can feel bland, boring, or not enough of a challenge at first. I tell my clients to give people at least three or four dates to see if that chemistry can build. I’ve seen it happen many times! We usually give too many chances to those who don’t deserve it, and not enough chances to those that do.

How do you help clients balance intuition with logic when it comes to dating decisions?

I urge my clients to listen to their body. Your intuition speaks loudly on a first date when the slate is clean, so to speak. Take a moment in the middle of the date or if you excuse yourself to the restroom, or even right after the date, and check in with your body and your gut. If something feels off, you don’t need to understand why it feels off to trust your instincts (unless you prefer to find out the hard way). Further, pay attention to how your nervous system feels, this is important information. If they make you feel anything other than calm, it may mean that your nervous systems simply don’t play nice together. And it might mean that you’ll struggle to feel safe, calm, secure and relaxed with this person, which I believe is necessary for a healthy relationship dynamic. Not all of the time, but most of the time. So the number one question to ask is: how does this person make me feel? And be honest with yourself.

When to let logic come in: Don’t ignore patterns. Patterns don’t lie.

What is your go-to first date look and why?

Anything that makes me feel confident. A standard uniform is likely jeans and a simple, solid color top, with a lipstick that makes me feel feminine. On a second and third date, I’ll usually amp up the femininity and dress up in a skirt or dress. I try not to put too much pressure on a first date, and like to work my way up in effort and investment over time.

How do you think dating in New York differs from dating anywhere else?

We have high standards (which is a good thing) but it can cause us to exercise maybe a little too much judgment. We’re emotionally intelligent and want to be efficient, and I’m afraid it’s causing us to make hasty decisions.

As a society, we’re so scared of getting hurt again, or making the same mistakes of our past, that we’ve started looking for reasons to not go out with someone, instead of reasons to give it a shot. We’ve become guarded and closed off. We make assumptions based on something someone said or did, and quickly decide what it means about them — putting them into a box. We don’t get curious, ask questions, have a conversation, or give them more time so we can collect more data and find out if it’s really true. We rationalize it as efficiency, but we write people off before really knowing them and we could be bypassing some really good people. Knowing there’s endless more profiles to swipe through feeds our illusion that we can find a more perfect person.

Dating burnout is very real — what are your go-to tips for staying grounded and hopeful while dating?

If you’re ever burnt out, or disappointed because something you were hopeful about didn’t pan out, take a time out. This doesn’t mean quitting or going on an hiatus, but letting yourself have a couple weeks to yourself to grieve or heal from the fact that you’d thought you be in a different place by now. Sometimes we go full throttle with dating, and inevitably burn ourselves out. With my clients, I ask them what’s the minimum amount of dating they can do that they can actually sustain for more than a couple months. Do that. Otherwise dating feels like a roller coaster because we’re constantly running at full speed then tapping out and doing it over and over, which is why it feels exhausting instead of sustaining a healthy momentum (which can actually get us somewhere).

And watch what you’re making typical setbacks in dating mean. If we put people on a pedestal before they’ve earned it and creating the illusion that they’re “the one” every time and it doesn’t work out, it creates an emotional rollercoaster too. We can think things like, “see it will never happen”, “I’m not good enough”, “it just doesn’t work for me”, or “there’s no one good left out there”. Be cautiously optimistic and really take your time to determine if you actually like this person, they meet your criteria, and they’ve earned the admiration you’re giving them, which can only be observed with consistent behavior over time. I believe you need at a minimum a few months to really know who people are, truly.

The most successful and resilient daters are those who keep having faith, no matter what happens in front of them, and know that that person for them is coming.

What does a “successful” relationship actually look like to you?

A successful relationship is when two people have similar values and goals, compatible emotional capacity, both accept influence from each other, are open, transparent, and exhibit the ability to express empathy and repair (again, and again, and again). They’re curious, fun, and playful together. They like the version of themselves that comes out around their partner. They continue to lean in, choose each other, and invest effort into keeping the relationship and intimacy alive and making their partner happy. They intentionally view their partner in a good light and always give them the benefit of the doubt (instead of expecting to be disappointed). The most satisfied couples stay in a mindset of appreciating each other and focusing on the good and what’s working.

Who are the women that inspire you?

I’m inspired by any woman doing something bold and courageous, and giving their dreams a shot. I choose to work with women professionals because I know how hard it is for women to be given chances and succeed, and how little room we have for error.

Any woman who has good energy inspires me. It’s not what we say or do, but how we make people feel. My female coaches, therapists, and mentors are all great role models for me as they’ve engrained a more secure attachment in me and a calm, regulated nervous system that I now pay forward. I’ll always be grateful for them.

If you were a color, what color would you be and why?

I recently learned that I’m a Deep Autumn, which makes sense given my Latin background, so any color in that palette, depending on the day! A tried and true classic is probably olive green, so that’s my answer. I also love a deep emerald. Lately I’ve been doing a lot of browns: camel, cocoa, or taupes… and colors from the red family: reds, aubergine, plum. But I always gravitate towards greens (and my friends always make fun of me for it… “another green look!” … they keep me grounded, and I love them for it!)